Wellness Wednesday

This Wasn’t the Plan… Until It Was: A Dispatch From the Edge of Burnout and the Beginning of Something Better

“Here’s the thing. There are moments in your life that make you. That set the course of who you’re going to be… It’s what you do afterward that counts. That’s when you find out who you are.”
— Whistler, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a life that looks fine on the outside but feels unbearable on the inside, you’re not alone. I know that space well. I’ve spent over two decades in 911 emergency services, holding space for people experiencing the worst days of their lives—while quietly navigating my own.

I didn’t plan to start a blog. I didn’t plan to change careers. And I definitely didn’t plan to rebuild my life from the ground up in my 50s. But here we are. And if you’re here, maybe you’re standing on the edge of something, too.

This project has lived in my head and heart for months. Now it’s time to give it breath.

Why This Space Exists

For more than twenty years, I’ve worked in 911—first as a call taker, then as a dispatcher, trainer, and now supervisor.

I learned how to stay calm in chaos, how to hold space for unimaginable pain, how to function on adrenaline and too little sleep—and how to ignore the parts of myself that were quietly falling apart while the headset stayed on and the world kept calling.

But then my mom died. And with her passing came a wave that refused to be ignored. Grief has a way of clearing the fog. Suddenly, I could see how small I had made myself to survive. How much I had postponed my own healing. And how urgently I needed to begin again.

So I did.

I went back to school, earning my degree in psychology and starting a master’s in clinical mental health counseling. I walked headfirst into the slow, often uncomfortable process of becoming. And now I’m writing to you, creating videos, sipping tea, and speaking my truth.

This blog is the quieter counterpart to my YouTube channel. It’s the space between the lines, the breath between the edits. Here, I’ll go deeper. I’ll talk about the messiness of change, the emotional cost of helping professions, and the radical act of choosing yourself—even when it’s terrifying.

Who This Is For

This is for the helpers—the ones who hold the line, the ones who are exhausted but don’t know how to stop, and the ones who laugh a little too loud at dark jokes because it’s the only thing keeping them from crying.

This is for people who are done pretending that fine is enough.

For the professionals who function like machines but feel like ghosts.

For the ones who’ve spent so long keeping it together, they’ve forgotten how to fall apart safely.

If you’ve been waiting for permission to rest, grieve, grow, or just feel what you feel without apologizing—you’re home. Take a deep breath. Let your shoulders drop. This space was built for you.

The Heart of Episode One

(But don’t worry if you haven’t watched it—this still makes sense.)

On YouTube, I shared what broke me open:

The grief of losing my mom and how it became a strange kind of doorway
What it means to actively choose change instead of waiting to be broken into it
The psychological toll of 911 work and why we need to start having honest conversations about it
How therapeutic frameworks like CBT and DBT aren’t just for clients—they’re life rafts for people like us
Why vulnerability still terrifies me—and why I’m practicing it anyway

🎥 Want to see the full episode? Watch here: Episode 1: Wellness Wednesday (Episode 1)

What’s Coming Up

Just like the YouTube channel, this blog will follow weekly themes—with room to flex depending on the week, the mood, and the need:

Wellness Wednesday: Therapy tools, self-care practices, mental health deep dives
Poetry Thursday: Soulful words that name the things we often leave unspoken
No Filter Friday: Dark humor, real talk, and the beauty in our contradictions (we have cookies)
Merry Moonday: A joyful reset to begin again—with intention, grace, and maybe glitter

Some posts will be reflective, others practical. Some will feel like a warm hug; others like a gentle shove. But all of it will be real.

Let’s Begin Together

Launching this blog is vulnerability in action. It means being seen—really seen. And if I’ve learned anything in therapy and in life, it’s that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It occurs in connection. In community. In safe places where we can say, “I’m not okay,” and not be met with silence.

So thank you for being here—whether you’re a dispatcher, a therapist-in-training, a friend, a survivor, or someone quietly searching for a softer way to live.

This isn’t just my story. It’s ours.

Let’s spill some truth.
Let’s sip some tea.
Let’s grow through what we go through.

💛
Lucinda
Dispatch, Tea, and Therapy